I Wish You All The Best: A Book Review

What a time to be alive, where fiction about Nonbinary people, has gone mainstream! In my wildest dreams, I never would have imagined it, to be honest. Here we are though, just a day shy of the whole first release week of I Wish You All The Best by Mason Deaver having taken place, and it has taken the internet by storm for all of the right reasons.

From the get go, it is made apparent that this book will be delving into subjects with emotional depth, as the story begins with the main character, Benjamin De Decker, being kicked out of their home for outing themself to their parents. From there, it becomes a narrative of healing for them, as they try to piece back together a life in shambles.

If you are looking for light-hearted, then I suggest searching elsewhere, because though there are humor laden exchanges and a romance between the MC and another character, which builds gradually throughout, this book is first and foremost about trauma and healing from it. With that being said, this was a harder read for me, but I am so grateful that this book exists. Years ago, as a Nonbinary teen, I would have benefited greatly from it, had it been available at that time.

As for the mechanics of the story, the character driven plot was done well. There was nuance and growth throughout, especially from Ben. Though their healing takes center-stage, Ben’s sister also transcends her original starting point, as does the love interest. Their motivations and facets are fleshed out to where I can see them being actual people. These three are the characters we see the most, so I feel it’s important to highlight those above the others. However, each person in the cast of characters was unique, and believable, which added layers to the story that would not have previously been there otherwise.

Overall, though a difficult read for anyone who can remotely relate to Ben on certain issues, this book is one of the best to come out of this release year. I am grateful to have read it, and I can only hope that the author will continue writing, as I look forward to their next work.

I rated this book on Goodreads 5/5 stars.

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In Joy, Too

In a change of pace, because we all need that with the dour circumstances surrounding the trans community as of late, I want to express my thoughts on the times where I feel joy in regards to my gender, because I don’t do that often enough, even though there are times where that emotion does overwhelm me, against the odds.

  1. When I sing a song, and my voice is right either between what people consider masculine and feminine sounding octaves, or more masuline. One of the constant thorns in my sides on the days I have any form of dysphoria, is the sound of my voice. If I take a phone call, sometimes I will make my voice lighter out of habit, because it is expected as a social norm. Furthermore, I am self conscious still when my voice sounds masculine around people I do not know, so in person, if I am nervous about a reaction, I will also do this then too. However, singing songs by Ed Sheeran, and other similar voices that tread that line helps, as I can form my voice in a way that does not adhere to the gender stereotypical binary when I do, or in a more masculine way.
  2. When people I know, or anyone really, uses my chosen name and proper pronouns, as opposed to my dead name, etc. My heart does leaps and bounds when I hear T.J. versus the name which shall not be spoken of. There are times where I have to go by my dead name and assigned at birth gender pronouns for legal or protection reasons, but otherwise, T.J. is the only name that feels like mine, and I become ecstatic knowing that people who have known me for years work to using it and my preferred/proper pronouns.
  3. When I am able to dress androgynously, or in a more masculine fashion, and no one bats an eye about it. There have been times where I have either dressed in a more masculine fashion, or androgynously, and I can visibly see that people are trying to figure out my assigned at birth gender, or they glare at me. It’s frustrating and scary. So, to be in an environment where I feel safe to express myself through what I wear, is everything to me.
  4. When I sign up for a new service or website, and Non-Binary is an option to denote my gender. As far as inclusion goes, I know society has miles to go, and that does frustrate me. However, it is exciting that larger websites such as Spotify and Pinterest have given that as an option. It makes my mind and heart soar.
  5. Discovering well done representation of Non-Binary people in any media form. I’ve mentioned before how the lack of Non-Binary rep is aggravating. However, this year I have been exposed to more than ever, and I am grateful to have discovered those few. Progress, even at a snail’s pace, is progress. I, for one, am grateful for it.

Gender Queer: A Memoir – A Book Review

I cannot express how elated I was to discover this graphic novel memoir on NetGalley. Reading the title felt like a beacon hailing me to shore, after a long, weary journey adrift at sea. Filled with equal amounts of excitement and apprehension, I downloaded it, hoping that it would live up to the expectations that roiled through me as I did.

Gender Queer: A Memoir is written and illustrated by a Nonbinary artist named Maia Kobabe, colored by Phoebe Kobabe. It follows eir journey through childhood up to present day where Kobabe has become confident in eir gender identity and expression. In accompaniment to the words, there are beautiful drawings that illustrate the peaks and pitfalls of being who e is.

As an AFAB, or Assigned Female At Birth, Nonbinary person myself, I deeply felt certain emotions that leapt off of each page in this book. Likewise, I believe that e exhibited all of the experiences well, so that even those who have not endured them, will understand. I will note though that I am not Asexual, nor do I use the same pronouns as the author. However, I did learn more about each aspect through this novel, so that in and of itself was an added bonus to picking it up.

I can say that without a doubt, I do recommend this work to everyone. If you’re questioning, or searching for Nonbinary or Genderqueer rep, then this is a wonderful one to choose. Likewise, if you’re wishing to be informed as an ally or learn of an experience outside of your own, then this novel can also be for you.

Overall, Gender Queer: A Memoir is a moving and well-illustrated graphic novel that I can see myself purchasing in the future to give to family members and friends. I feel this medium is the ideal one to tell the story that was presented. If any of this sounds up your alley in any way, then definitely consider buying a copy when it comes out on May 28th, 2019!

I rate this title 5/5 stars.

Disclaimer: I was given a free ARC of this title by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.