Pride Month Posts

What I thought this year’s Pride month would mean to me, and what it has turned into over the course of the last few months, has altered greatly. While I’m still finalizing the ideas in my head for next month’s posting schedule, it’s safe to say that books and writing will not be the major focus. This is mainly to do with the fact that, unwillingly, the identity of LGBTQIAP+ people has become further inherently political than ever before. What better time to highlight politicians and policies that could be detrimental to us as a whole so we can fight against them, than Pride month and the 50th anniversary of Stonewall?

Regardless of what happens in the coming days, I feel that largely leaving off of this particular topic as a whole is no longer an option. It never really was, but even more so now, it is not. So, next month, whether alongside regular posts, or in place of, depending on what I decide, I will be discussing all that I mentioned above, as this is the time to work towards a better future for us, and the generations yet to come. We can and should all do better, myself included.

This is, of course, not to discredit those that have already been more vocal in the community, and work tirelessly to fight the bigotry and oppression that those of us face, whether daily or throughout any given point of our lives. Y’all are the reason that we, the more reticent bunch, even have a leg to stand on. I acknowledge I write this post from a place of privilege, as I do not know the true extent of what some have been through, or might endure in the coming days. However, I hope that my previous and future contributions to the world might help bring it to a better place for all, and not just myself.

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Lead Me Not: A Book Review

Beliefs are formative for not only our thoughts, but the actions we carry out daily, as well. In the case of Isaac Morris, in Lead Me Not by Ann Gallagher, he is entrenched in the mindset of homophobic rhetoric, alongside the majority of his fundamental Christian church and family. One could wonder, what would it take for him to be educated on the world outside of the groupthink he has been forced to drown in?

For a while now, I’ve been in search of a book that not only tackles the subject matter that this one does, but which also sets up a realistic depiction of both sides in this contemporary argument. Though I disliked reading the homophobic bits, and detested certain characters throughout the novel, what sold it for me was Isaac and his transformation, as well as the in depth look at not only the mindset of people like him, but also the scripture in the Bible as seen through each other’s eyes.

With that being said, was Isaac a good or likable character for the majority of the book? I suppose that depends upon each reader. As for me, as a character, I loved him. Certain choices he made though, were reason enough for a person to dislike him, if he were a real person. His background does play a large part though on how he reacts or interacts with certain revelations, because hatred buried that deep in someone is not changed overnight. However, eventually, the pay out that comes later is worth his less than likable tendencies, thoughts, and actions.

As for the other characters, I enjoyed each one, honestly. The love interest, Colton Roberts, a stark contrast to everything that Isaac believed previously, was also well written, and a great choice to be set opposite of him. I enjoyed reading his chapters as much, if not more, than Isaac’s, to be honest. As for the antagonists, though they made me want to scream or toss my Kindle, were realistic. The siblings outside of the ones who were cast in with the rest of the antagonists were decent, as was the older pastor who had taken care of Colton from a young age. He ground the story in ways that made me grateful that he was included.

The setting, which is Seattle, Washington, as well as the different places that are visited throughout the course of the novel, compound the message that the narrative is seeking to show overall – we all have our own struggles, but it costs nothing to hear each other out and be kind to our fellow humans. I enjoyed watching Isaac interact with his choice of occupation – a gay bar, of all things. Likewise, how his opinion of Colton’s church changed over time after various visits, was interesting as well.

My one bone to pick with this book, honestly, is the way that the older sister who has been distanced from the family, reacts to the news of the whole project, which is the driving force of the plot for much of the book. Being that she is removed from it emotionally, outside of worrying about Isaac, I felt she should have also asked how it was fair to treat someone the way that her brother and sister were, for a manipulative venture. Addressing that better on page would have been most welcomed, honestly, and is ultimately what led me to knock down a star from my final rating.

Overall, I will recommend this book to anyone who enjoys Christian and LGBTQIA+ romance melded together. The subject matter is tough, but it is still a good story, and one that does deliver a powerful look at what can happen when we all put aside our pride, or toxic beliefs, and just listen.

I rated this book a 4/5 stars on Goodreads.

In Inspiration I Trust

Last week, according to my spreadsheet, was in fact the worst writing week that I have had to date since starting it. There are multiple empty spaces that remind me I did not write a single word on my works in progress. Those blanks will haunt me for the rest of the month.

This is not to say, however, that I was not still working on anything, because I was. However, it was not the traditional work that one expects to do when planning for writing a book. Regardless, it gave me more inspiration, which has propelled me forward to finish out this last week strong.

Below I will leave the aesthetics, which I created for the characters from my current WIP. Let it not be said that I have nothing to show for my work. (All images are free stock photos. I lay no claim to any single one.)

Morgan, the main character – Pronouns: They/Them
Annabelle
Will
AdriΓ‘n
Julia
Aurelia

I Wish You All The Best: A Book Review

What a time to be alive, where fiction about Nonbinary people, has gone mainstream! In my wildest dreams, I never would have imagined it, to be honest. Here we are though, just a day shy of the whole first release week of I Wish You All The Best by Mason Deaver having taken place, and it has taken the internet by storm for all of the right reasons.

From the get go, it is made apparent that this book will be delving into subjects with emotional depth, as the story begins with the main character, Benjamin De Decker, being kicked out of their home for outing themself to their parents. From there, it becomes a narrative of healing for them, as they try to piece back together a life in shambles.

If you are looking for light-hearted, then I suggest searching elsewhere, because though there are humor laden exchanges and a romance between the MC and another character, which builds gradually throughout, this book is first and foremost about trauma and healing from it. With that being said, this was a harder read for me, but I am so grateful that this book exists. Years ago, as a Nonbinary teen, I would have benefited greatly from it, had it been available at that time.

As for the mechanics of the story, the character driven plot was done well. There was nuance and growth throughout, especially from Ben. Though their healing takes center-stage, Ben’s sister also transcends her original starting point, as does the love interest. Their motivations and facets are fleshed out to where I can see them being actual people. These three are the characters we see the most, so I feel it’s important to highlight those above the others. However, each person in the cast of characters was unique, and believable, which added layers to the story that would not have previously been there otherwise.

Overall, though a difficult read for anyone who can remotely relate to Ben on certain issues, this book is one of the best to come out of this release year. I am grateful to have read it, and I can only hope that the author will continue writing, as I look forward to their next work.

I rated this book on Goodreads 5/5 stars.

Being Marginalized Is Not A Free Pass To Avoid Scrutiny

There seems to be a gray area hovering throughout the lands of the internet, as well as outside of the digital world. It has materialized as controversies have arisen, and people have drawn their lines of what they will or won’t allow to come to pass without comment. However, this gray area of indecision, or decisively placed rose colored glasses, is insidious at best, and therefore should not exist.

An identity is not meant to shield, because actions determine your character, regardless of who you are. Furthermore, though every single person will make a mistake at some point, that does not excuse the action which remains erroneous in nature. To point to past decent actions as reason that you should be forgiven, is immoral, and also just as wrong as attempting to hide from scrutiny behind your identity.

Recently, after a slew of various events within the book community, this has been weighing on my mind. It is not easy to hear that you’ve committed an error, but rather than become defensive and point to your sexual orientation or other marginalized identity, it should be rather obvious that the best path forward would be to admit to wrong doing, and then commit to doing better going forward. We’re all human, and therefore pre-disposed to making mistakes. However, nothing can remove the blame for your own choices or actions. You, and you alone, are responsible. Being marginalized is not an eraser than can absolve you.

In Joy, Too

In a change of pace, because we all need that with the dour circumstances surrounding the trans community as of late, I want to express my thoughts on the times where I feel joy in regards to my gender, because I don’t do that often enough, even though there are times where that emotion does overwhelm me, against the odds.

  1. When I sing a song, and my voice is right either between what people consider masculine and feminine sounding octaves, or more masuline. One of the constant thorns in my sides on the days I have any form of dysphoria, is the sound of my voice. If I take a phone call, sometimes I will make my voice lighter out of habit, because it is expected as a social norm. Furthermore, I am self conscious still when my voice sounds masculine around people I do not know, so in person, if I am nervous about a reaction, I will also do this then too. However, singing songs by Ed Sheeran, and other similar voices that tread that line helps, as I can form my voice in a way that does not adhere to the gender stereotypical binary when I do, or in a more masculine way.
  2. When people I know, or anyone really, uses my chosen name and proper pronouns, as opposed to my dead name, etc. My heart does leaps and bounds when I hear T.J. versus the name which shall not be spoken of. There are times where I have to go by my dead name and assigned at birth gender pronouns for legal or protection reasons, but otherwise, T.J. is the only name that feels like mine, and I become ecstatic knowing that people who have known me for years work to using it and my preferred/proper pronouns.
  3. When I am able to dress androgynously, or in a more masculine fashion, and no one bats an eye about it. There have been times where I have either dressed in a more masculine fashion, or androgynously, and I can visibly see that people are trying to figure out my assigned at birth gender, or they glare at me. It’s frustrating and scary. So, to be in an environment where I feel safe to express myself through what I wear, is everything to me.
  4. When I sign up for a new service or website, and Non-Binary is an option to denote my gender. As far as inclusion goes, I know society has miles to go, and that does frustrate me. However, it is exciting that larger websites such as Spotify and Pinterest have given that as an option. It makes my mind and heart soar.
  5. Discovering well done representation of Non-Binary people in any media form. I’ve mentioned before how the lack of Non-Binary rep is aggravating. However, this year I have been exposed to more than ever, and I am grateful to have discovered those few. Progress, even at a snail’s pace, is progress. I, for one, am grateful for it.

Gender Queer: A Memoir – A Book Review

I cannot express how elated I was to discover this graphic novel memoir on NetGalley. Reading the title felt like a beacon hailing me to shore, after a long, weary journey adrift at sea. Filled with equal amounts of excitement and apprehension, I downloaded it, hoping that it would live up to the expectations that roiled through me as I did.

Gender Queer: A Memoir is written and illustrated by a Nonbinary artist named Maia Kobabe, colored by Phoebe Kobabe. It follows eir journey through childhood up to present day where Kobabe has become confident in eir gender identity and expression. In accompaniment to the words, there are beautiful drawings that illustrate the peaks and pitfalls of being who e is.

As an AFAB, or Assigned Female At Birth, Nonbinary person myself, I deeply felt certain emotions that leapt off of each page in this book. Likewise, I believe that e exhibited all of the experiences well, so that even those who have not endured them, will understand. I will note though that I am not Asexual, nor do I use the same pronouns as the author. However, I did learn more about each aspect through this novel, so that in and of itself was an added bonus to picking it up.

I can say that without a doubt, I do recommend this work to everyone. If you’re questioning, or searching for Nonbinary or Genderqueer rep, then this is a wonderful one to choose. Likewise, if you’re wishing to be informed as an ally or learn of an experience outside of your own, then this novel can also be for you.

Overall, Gender Queer: A Memoir is a moving and well-illustrated graphic novel that I can see myself purchasing in the future to give to family members and friends. I feel this medium is the ideal one to tell the story that was presented. If any of this sounds up your alley in any way, then definitely consider buying a copy when it comes out on May 28th, 2019!

I rate this title 5/5 stars.

Disclaimer: I was given a free ARC of this title by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.